SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I can't post this on the wayward board because it will smack of being insulting. I sincerely don't mean it to be insulting. I really want to know some information.

I have a hypothesis that people generally act in accordance with internal moral guidelines and rules. I was brought up Catholic, which might have something to do with it.

Here's my question. Why would the affair partner pursue someone else's spouse, knowing full well that the spouse is married? I mean, they know that there will certainly be enormous pain when the other spouse finds out. Assuming for a moment that the wife in a heterosexual marriage is the wandering spouse, the affair partner may also be taking his life in his hands. Is that it, the thrill, like skydiving? How does the affair partner morally or ethically justify his or her actions to the face in the mirror?

Here is my two cents.

Some people like the thrill of the chase. It’s what motivates them to go after a married person (or someone in a committed relationship).

Some people see the AP as interesting and kind and caring with their spouse and the AP decides that is what/who they want.

Others just don’t care and will go after anyone anytime any place. They have no morals or values or ethics or integrity or anything. They are that much of a lowlife.

The AP will tell themselves whatever they need to — just to justify their poor choices. The OW in my case knew my H was married - but pursued him anyway. And he lied to her to keep the affair going by telling her he was D me. The ego boost she provided kept the affair alive for far too long.

In the end it comes down to people telling themselves things like "I deserve to be happy" and "we are just friends" and "I’m not doing anything wrong" or whatever lie they use to justify the affair. On both sides.

I’ve seen the game. I’ve been approached far too often. I would just laugh it off b/c these guys were just fishing. Looking to see if I was one of those married women who would engage in an affair. They didn’t like me or love me or care about me — it was obvious what it was. NSA sex.